Circle Time and Movement - part 2

The child who doesn’t participate, what are they asking us? What is behind that choice? Most

likely it has to do with a fear of doing it wrong. These children would rather not do it, than try and

make a mistake. When they chose not to participate they are really asking us if we think they

can do it. They trust us enough to look for our opinions. When they chose not to participate

and we act as if we don’t expect them to we are answering their question, but answering it in a

way that confirms their biggest fears. We don’t think they can. The fear eventually takes over

and it then creates the difficulty. What this child wants is for someone to see them, someone to

see they are capable and expect them to do things. We might have to start with one tiny piece,

but when we ask them to do it we have to hold them to it, clear in ourselves that they can, and

then they will.

What about the child who is acting out? What are they asking? They want us to know they really

try to do it, they want to please us, but they can’t yet and need our help. They want us to look

through and past the behavior and really see who they are, and again, they want us to give

them a starting place at which they can begin to experience success.

In both these scenarios, and really these scenarios apply to most of the children to some degree

these days, the children need us to change what we are doing, and start again at the place

where they can begin to feel some success. If the child is not yet able to do what we are asking

successfully it is our job to fix it by changing what we are asking, and it’s not our place to blame

the child.

In “The Spiritual Ground of Education” Rudolf Steiner says, “One thinks of the child as having

brought an intelligent spirit into the world through birth. The child is intelligent. The child’s spirit

is not yet awake, and if we are unable to awaken it, it is because we are foolish, not the child.”

When we experience these difficulties with the children, it’s like being handed a bunch of yarn

with a giant tangle. There is nothing wrong with the yarn, but we have to untangle it before we

can make use of it. There’s no point blaming the yarn for having tangles. If we try to fix it by

yanking on it it will only get worse. We have to slow down, and work our way back to where the

knot originated and begin to work through the tangle.