Children and Screen Time

I am ready to admit. I am biased. We did not have a television in my house when my children were little. It was a conscious choice my husband and I made. And luckily for me cell phones were not a household item, yet. I will also admit, I understand needing downtime. When my husband died, I did break down and I bought a TV for Friday night movie night. I went with the kids to Blockbuster Video and we would get a Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin movie or an old episode of The Walton’s. We watched classics like Bringing Up Baby, Philadelphia Story, Where the Red Fern Grows or Old Yeller. We would sit and watch movies and fold laundry and eat popcorn...once a week, together.

The discussion about television was pretty intense 20 to 30 years ago when my kids were little but luckily for me and my children, we had friends and family who were equally invested in limiting television for their children. Most of them were not cold turkey like us but they were concerned enough about screen time and content. I must say it was a magical time and I have many fond memories of my children’s play and I am a pretty proud mother of the creative things my kids got up to.

So, I was a little dismayed when I returned to work 15 years later and found that despite an overwhelming proliferation of screen devices the discussion about TV didn’t seem to be happening anymore. It was 2008 and all the children in my care seemed to be TV and cell phone and iPad literate and some of the children were talking about TV shows and characters that I found, well frankly, a little shocking.

The children who struggled from the excessive screen time or inappropriate content was disheartening. It was as if parents had just waved the white flag and surrendered. It has only gotten worse as the years have gone by.

You may wonder if I can really tell which children watch TV and what they watch but then you forget, children are imitators. In the same way that I assume children who make cakes and muffins and discuss sprinkles or not sprinkles bake with their parents. Or children who make tents and sleeping bags with their blankets and fire pits with the blocks to roast marshmallows, have gone camping or children who tie strings to their sticks have gone fishing. I, then, also assume children who want to play Spiderman and Batman or Star Wars and who cannot pick up a woodchip without it becoming a gun or something that pwews have seen it to imitate that as well.

Everything the children see they have to process. And it seems to me that the more violent the content, the more they have to process it. Unfortunately, they process it in their play with other children. They shoot the “bad guys” but none of their playmates want to be bad guys! And no one wants a wood chip pointed at them and get pwewed. None of the children want their forts to be trampled or their muffins to be kicked over. As much as possible, I try to keep the roaring, growling, chasing, shoving, and pwewing, outside and once outside to make a space for my bug momma’s and poppa’s who are making little nests for rollie pollies. I know the children have to get it out of their bodies. Once after we watched Arsenic and Old Lace, my second grader spent a couple of weeks shouting “Charge!” at the top of her lungs every time she went upstairs. Some images are just that powerful!

Then, recently, I heard a piece on the radio about parents buying land lines for their homes again, so their teenagers could talk with their friends without giving them cell phones. I was elated! Maybe the TV debate hadn’t been lost after all. Parents are actually fighting back for the health of their children. Maybe it was just that there was so much more to contend with.

When I brought this up with my son recently, he told me that when it was all so new people just didn’t know how addictive all that screen time was but that people his age, who grew up with the technology have experienced how harmful it is. He felt they are more interested in limiting the abuse for their children. I do not envy all that parents these days will have to navigate with their children. I can only encourage you to start now.

Take an honest look at the amount of time your child is on any screen and the content of what they are watching. Get rid of the things that are not healthy, anything that is violent or of more mature content. Don’t let them watch anything for at least an hour before their bedtime. No screens in the bedroom. And don’t let them watch anything alone. Set limits now so that they are comfortable when they are older when you have to establish rules and limits for their own safety.

For more on the subject, please enjoy this insightful article by Rachel Nelson MD - Children and Technology: Should Kids’ Screen Time Be Limited?